Yes, I know empathy is at the cornerstone of helping others. Can we walk in their shoes? I don't really think so. We can try, we can make a focused effort to do so, but we can never fully experience what another human being is going through or the challenges they face in their day to day lives.
When I look at control issues as they relate to those people who live with congitive challenges, I don' believe I can fully understand what they experience, however I can make an effort to help them get out from human service control by knowing myself and what I experience. Simply put, when working with an indivdual and their support team members regarding health issues, social issues etc., I often take out the disability factor in my thinking and apply what is generally the cultural norm as my guide. This way one can remove some of the hypocracy that is well imbedded in some of our services and supports.For example does a person with a mild developmental challenge have the right to smoke or have sex or do other things that may cause us the providers, concern. The answer is yes of course. We must first consider the risks and danger and try to assure that safey is of the highest consideration. Then we ask ourseleves do I have a right to kill myself smoking, and of course I do and so do the individuals we support. Do they have a right to have intimate relations in a group home, well are there house rules? Do they conflict with a persons human right to privacy? Do we as providers have a policy that we throw away everytime we confont an issue related to sexuality?
These are questions we should ask ourselves, and use to guide our response in helping those we serve to live the lives we all seek and most importantly, we should not project our values or beliefs onto their lives. Here is where I still salute Carl Rogers with his notion of "uncondtional positive regard" as a goal for us to reach for.
JBG
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