Two movies define this thought piece. Away from Her and Up In The Air. Two dramatically different movies that I watched this weekend. Yet, both of these movies touched a nerve in me as human services provider, and one who has spent years attempting to meet the life needs of many people seeking services.
The theme I want to discuss is happy in the face of total life sucking situations. Dementia, Alzheimer's or Memory loss related challenges and losing one's job.In the movie Away from Her there is scene when the husband visits an assited care facility and gets the grand tour. The adminstrator gives him the brief tour of the facility with total joy and a spring in her step as this was similar to planning for a birthday party, or some other joyous event. "We get some much narural light." We got a puzzle going on here, we always have a puzzle going on here." "People are kept busy here and look at our brand new dining room." You get the point happy, happy as this poor man is making a gut wrenching decision to leave his wife there forever. Then he is told that there are no visits until after his wife has had 30 days to settle in. Well, with Alzeheimer's Disease that may be just about the right amount of time for his wife to forget who he is.
This is not dissimilar to what happened to the young children
dropped off at the State Schools for those lablled mentally retarded 50 years ago.There families could not see them for two months so they can settle in as well. The other reason is that most human beings resist living in controlling places like institutional settings, with locked doors and giving the freedom up to care givers who want to keep the peace. In another words, 30-60days to succumb to their new instutuional lives. Who thinks this shit up?
In Up in Air, George Clooney plays a man who travels an inordinate number of miles flying to companies all over the country to fire people. His young upstart partner thinks she can remove her feelings from what she is charged to do. Again, losing one's job is very high on the causes of derpession charts.This becomes another event that the characters in the movie try to sugar coat with numerous referrences to this being just another, and maybe better opportunity. They expect them to accept their contrived and stunted speach about them being let go as is with no reaction.
Both films are fictional, yet in human services the attempt to make happy out of deeply painful life events is not uncommon. This is probably used as a defense against our own pain and sadness. We need to be real, honest and sensative to all the deeply painful life events those who seek our services are experiencing.
Let's get real and honest, by shutting up and listening.
JBG
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