Today I was visiting my favorite day program, the mall, any mall USA. The world's biggest provider of Mall Therapy. This is place where people who can't afford lunch, bring a bagged lunch to the foodcourt where others are purchasing lunch, the more typical behavior. It's a palce where many people congregate with there staff with the misguided idea that this is social integration. Well it isn't social, and it is certianly not an experience that forwards the possibility of those living with diability, join those of us who are wronlgy perceived to be OK.
I was eating lunch and I was observing an interaction between a staff person and the individual he was there with, eating his bagged lunch smack in the middle of a place of commerce. The dialog went like this" Ralph, where are going Buddy." Ralph was standing up and looked like he was ready to go. Staff to Ralph" Hey buddy you need to sit down for one minute before we go." Why one minute? Would those of us alleged adults listen to another telling us we need to sit down? Ralph to his credit, wasn't buying it and in my mind I was stronlgy rooting for him not to give in, and sit down for the mandatory minute. As it turned out, Ralph after much coaxing by his staff/guy, sat down. Of course Ralph got the obligatory praise from the staff guy, " nice job" for listening to me and complying with my controlling wishes. Who needs buddies like that? Well Ralph wouldn't be at the mall if he indeed did have a "nice job" somewhere.
Control has become out of control, and in some ways has always been in the helping profession, but now it looks like it is driven by stupid mandates to be in the "community" at all costs, in defiance to sanity. We are now having individuals do tricks in public for their paid friends and trainers, for all the public to witness and wonder why?
Let's stay out of malls or other places that have little if no meaning in terms of social integration or life enrichment for those who have a disability and for that matter, all of us. Let's help individuals be free and choose for themselves.
By the way the requesite minute turned out to be 17 minutes before Ralph was finally given permission to get up and leave. I know, I timed it.
Serve Well
JBG
Brilliant.
ReplyDeleteMy son, who is 11, went on one of these "mall field trips" last summer and I thought it was the dumbest idea ever. Unless my son needs to purchase something at the mall he has no reason to be there.
I constantly advocate for him to not be completely compliant in school and in the rest of his life. I feel that teaching any person, disabled or not, to be 100% compliant is setting them up to be victims. I want my son to protest if he feels that something isn't fair. I want him to throw a fit if someone in a position of authority is trying to make him do something that is harmful to him.
Of course he should be compliant in the same areas we all should be-not hurting others, not hurting himself, etc.
My son acheiving "compliance" on a daily basis was a huge priority in his ABA program when he was younger. Thankfully, we have found a program that allows him to make choices. Needless to say, ever since we moved him out of district 5 years ago he has become an amazing little man.
I too feel like I need to carefully observe "client/staff" interactions when I see these kind of outings in a mall or at the store. I'm just waiting for someone to do something that is not appropriate or harmful to their client so I can swoop down and call them on it. Luckily, I haven't had to do this yet.
I would have timed it too.
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